Ways You Know Your Significant Other is All Right: He covers your face in red lipstick while you sleep, like, apparently, covers your face in red lipstick to the point where it has texture like a Van Gogh or something, but feels guilty enough to wipe it off before you wake up.
Although you won’t understand the reddish stains all over your face until he explains it to you later. With much vim.
Again, I have to ask: Are you sure you don’t both have narcolepsy?
Oh, I just noticed you addressed that in the other thread. Still, I’m clever. Leave it up.