Self-Discovery

All rules had their exceptions, but the way I came to see things they generally went like this: Kools and Newports were for black people and lower-class whites. Camels were for procrastinators, those who wrote bad poetry, and those who put off writing bad poetry. Merits were for sex addicts, Salems for alcoholics, and Mores for people who considered themselves to be outrageous but really weren’t.

I am either Black or lower-class White! Who’da thunk it?

I’d heard, too, that menthols were worse for you than regular cigarettes, but that also seemed suspect. Just after my mom started chemotherapy, she sent me three cartons of Kool Milds. “They were on sale,” she croaked. Dying or not, she should have known that I smoked full-strength Filter Kings, but then I looked at them and thought, Well, they are free.

But I’m young. And invincible. Right?

[via]

9 Responses to “Self-Discovery”


  1. 1 Kai May 20th, 2008 at 1:42 am

    Well apparently I was once a procrastinator who wrote bad poetry…wait, who’s spying on me?

  2. 2 r@d@r May 20th, 2008 at 2:28 pm

    of course, camel NONFILTERS were for those of us who wrote GOOD poetry…
    [coughs, rubs fingernails on jacket, gazes at them]

    there was a period of time when some of us affectatiously smoked Lucky Strikes, i supposed to prove how punk rock we were; the real punk rockers, of course, smoked red pack Marlboros and thought nothing of it. [it was the heshers who smoked camels. i don't know if any of them wrote poetry. maybe in their suicide notes.]

    although to tell you the truth - the article is bogus, in that it suggests no category for those who smoke Export A’s, Rothmans, Dunhills, Shermans, Galois, Gitanes, Kreteks, Bidis, etc. oh, wait a minute, that’s right - i grew up in Berkeley. never mind.

  3. 3 Hugo May 21st, 2008 at 12:06 am

    Yes, I smoked a lot of Kreteks, also in Berkeley. But when I was at Cal, my “circle” tended to smoke Parliaments. The menthol/black thing was widely discussed even a quarter century ago.

  4. 4 Not-Not-Not-Not May 21st, 2008 at 7:24 am

    I thought menthol cigarettes were for people who did other drugs.

    “It feels so great on my throat, man.”
    “Yeah, like I have an ice cube right there.”
    “Touch my face!”

  5. 5 Anne May 21st, 2008 at 10:01 am

    Not-Not: “Touch my face!”

    Ha!

  6. 6 r@d@r May 21st, 2008 at 1:24 pm

    Hugo -

    that’s rather uncanny, because the only other Parliament smokers i’ve ever met were…..UC Berkeley students!

    i never even tried menthols until bumming some off of my friends in Nawlins. anecdotally, the correlation would appear to have some merit (no pun intended).

    Not-Not -

    all the people i knew who did the “other drugs” smoked camel filters if they had the money, and bummed whatever i was smoking if they did not. i always enjoyed handing them one of my non-filters and watching them choke on them and sputter, “how the hell can you smoke these things?” this from people who would smoke anything green, wrapped in newspaper if that was all that was available.

  7. 7 zuzu May 21st, 2008 at 5:57 pm

    Ha. My parents, neither black nor lower class, smoked Kool Kings.

    And back when they’d sell them to minors, I’d have to run into the store to pick them up when Mom was in a hurry.

  8. 8 r@d@r May 22nd, 2008 at 12:01 pm

    Ha. My parents, neither black nor lower class, smoked Kool Kings.

    i just remembered! this one time they were giving out free samples on a street corner downtown. so of course i availed myself of as many as possible. i was, maybe, fifteen or sixteen. god, remember those days? anyway, i figured that theory was tissue-thin if even that.

    there was a time when american spirit would send you a whole sampler of all their varieties for free if you asked, as long as you said that you owned or worked at an establishment that sold cigarettes. i think they were willing to be loose with that in hopes that they’d hook some new customers.

    truly a pernicious and evil drug, which i wax nostalgic for almost every day.

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