Comments on: The Real Problem With Single Parents Is That They Don’t Feel Enough Judgement and Self-Doubt http://fauxrealtho.com/2008/03/22/the-real-problem-with-single-parents-is-that-they-dont-feel-enough-judgement-and-self-doubt/ Sun, 20 Jul 2008 22:17:06 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.6 By: hotsingleparentmamma http://fauxrealtho.com/2008/03/22/the-real-problem-with-single-parents-is-that-they-dont-feel-enough-judgement-and-self-doubt/#comment-280259 hotsingleparentmamma Thu, 22 May 2008 19:51:13 +0000 http://fauxrealtho.com/2008/03/22/the-real-problem-with-single-parents-is-that-they-dont-feel-enough-judgement-and-self-doubt/#comment-280259 so, would it be better for the kids if the moms stayed in a marriage where the dad is a drugie or beats the hell out of her AND the kids. Yes that is a much better cushion. Might as well teach them to collect welfair and use food stamps to buy beer. I dont know anyone in the real world who wants to be a single parent, unless you happen to have millions of dollares and have other people raise them for you. There are alot of people with two parents who still grow up to be messed up,socially retarded fuck ups...like GW bush! so, would it be better for the kids if the moms stayed in a marriage where the dad is a drugie or beats the hell out of her AND the kids. Yes that is a much better cushion. Might as well teach them to collect welfair and use food stamps to buy beer. I dont know anyone in the real world who wants to be a single parent, unless you happen to have millions of dollares and have other people raise them for you. There are alot of people with two parents who still grow up to be messed up,socially retarded fuck ups…like GW bush!

]]> By: MamaBones http://fauxrealtho.com/2008/03/22/the-real-problem-with-single-parents-is-that-they-dont-feel-enough-judgement-and-self-doubt/#comment-247342 MamaBones Fri, 25 Apr 2008 12:36:09 +0000 http://fauxrealtho.com/2008/03/22/the-real-problem-with-single-parents-is-that-they-dont-feel-enough-judgement-and-self-doubt/#comment-247342 I guess if us as single parent were dumb enough to take responsibility for the children we deserve this bullshit. What is wrong with this woman! Any hard day as a happy-to-be-single-mother is way better that any day married to a lazy prick. I guess if us as single parent were dumb enough to take responsibility for the children we deserve this bullshit. What is wrong with this woman! Any hard day as a happy-to-be-single-mother is way better that any day married to a lazy prick.

]]> By: Mommy2JL http://fauxrealtho.com/2008/03/22/the-real-problem-with-single-parents-is-that-they-dont-feel-enough-judgement-and-self-doubt/#comment-211422 Mommy2JL Mon, 31 Mar 2008 00:41:58 +0000 http://fauxrealtho.com/2008/03/22/the-real-problem-with-single-parents-is-that-they-dont-feel-enough-judgement-and-self-doubt/#comment-211422 It's people like this that just make everything so much harder. There's nothing like putting your heart and soul into raising and caring for your child and then getting slapped in the face with comments like that. It's just as bad as the "oh wow, he's doing really great... you know.. considering" comments. Really, how does anybody think they can be an authority on the subject unless it's actually a life they've lived. Even then, every situation is different... There's no way anyone could tell me that my son would be better off living with his father (who is jobless, lives with his parents, parties every night and is trying to make it big with his "band") than with me, and no possible way that the two of us getting married would have any kind of positive contribution to his life. We don't love each other, in all honesty, we weren't ever in a relationship and we don't have the means of nurturing a healthy relationship together. I don't hate myself, or the situation I'm in. I love my son and all that he brings to my life. I do my best by him and he is a very happy and well taken care of baby. My ex would have married me in an instant and he would have loved my child like his own but why should I do that when I don't see it working out. Why go through all of the heartache and all of the hurt just so you aren't a single parent? Sorry for the mini rant. I just can't help it when I hear things like this. It hurts annoys me when people think it's okay to judge and generalize about such a complex and complicated situation. It’s people like this that just make everything so much harder.
There’s nothing like putting your heart and soul into raising and caring for your child and then getting slapped in the face with comments like that.
It’s just as bad as the “oh wow, he’s doing really great… you know.. considering” comments.
Really, how does anybody think they can be an authority on the subject unless it’s actually a life they’ve lived. Even then, every situation is different…
There’s no way anyone could tell me that my son would be better off living with his father (who is jobless, lives with his parents, parties every night and is trying to make it big with his “band”) than with me, and no possible way that the two of us getting married would have any kind of positive contribution to his life.
We don’t love each other, in all honesty, we weren’t ever in a relationship and we don’t have the means of nurturing a healthy relationship together.

I don’t hate myself, or the situation I’m in. I love my son and all that he brings to my life. I do my best by him and he is a very happy and well taken care of baby.

My ex would have married me in an instant and he would have loved my child like his own but why should I do that when I don’t see it working out.
Why go through all of the heartache and all of the hurt just so you aren’t a single parent?

Sorry for the mini rant.
I just can’t help it when I hear things like this.
It hurts annoys me when people think it’s okay to judge and generalize about such a complex and complicated situation.

]]> By: Noli Irritare Leones » Blog Archive » “Sex is special” http://fauxrealtho.com/2008/03/22/the-real-problem-with-single-parents-is-that-they-dont-feel-enough-judgement-and-self-doubt/#comment-209203 Noli Irritare Leones » Blog Archive » “Sex is special” Wed, 26 Mar 2008 16:05:20 +0000 http://fauxrealtho.com/2008/03/22/the-real-problem-with-single-parents-is-that-they-dont-feel-enough-judgement-and-self-doubt/#comment-209203 [...] to the child. And there are things to be said against shotgun marriages, especially in the case where the couple already isn’t getting along. If the shotgun marriage would be headed straight for the shotgun divorce, then maybe skipping [...] [...] to the child. And there are things to be said against shotgun marriages, especially in the case where the couple already isn’t getting along. If the shotgun marriage would be headed straight for the shotgun divorce, then maybe skipping [...]

]]> By: musings on single parenting… « random babble… http://fauxrealtho.com/2008/03/22/the-real-problem-with-single-parents-is-that-they-dont-feel-enough-judgement-and-self-doubt/#comment-208826 musings on single parenting… « random babble… Wed, 26 Mar 2008 05:45:21 +0000 http://fauxrealtho.com/2008/03/22/the-real-problem-with-single-parents-is-that-they-dont-feel-enough-judgement-and-self-doubt/#comment-208826 [...] very much enjoyed the reactions that i read on this trope at Faux Real, and Feministe.  Lauren nails this, along w/ La Lubu’s comments, w/ her “right the [...] [...] very much enjoyed the reactions that i read on this trope at Faux Real, and Feministe.  Lauren nails this, along w/ La Lubu’s comments, w/ her “right the [...]

]]> By: Nick Kiddle http://fauxrealtho.com/2008/03/22/the-real-problem-with-single-parents-is-that-they-dont-feel-enough-judgement-and-self-doubt/#comment-208672 Nick Kiddle Wed, 26 Mar 2008 00:16:29 +0000 http://fauxrealtho.com/2008/03/22/the-real-problem-with-single-parents-is-that-they-dont-feel-enough-judgement-and-self-doubt/#comment-208672 "Why is it verboten to express the truth that growing up with a lonely, overwhelmed mother and a missing father is a recipe for childhood pain?" I dunno about in general, but expressing it to someone who is facing the prospect of single parenthood is verboten because it's fucking tactless and serves only to make her hate herself and her situation. “Why is it verboten to express the truth that growing up with a lonely, overwhelmed mother and a missing father is a recipe for childhood pain?”

I dunno about in general, but expressing it to someone who is facing the prospect of single parenthood is verboten because it’s fucking tactless and serves only to make her hate herself and her situation.

]]> By: Paolo http://fauxrealtho.com/2008/03/22/the-real-problem-with-single-parents-is-that-they-dont-feel-enough-judgement-and-self-doubt/#comment-208651 Paolo Tue, 25 Mar 2008 23:53:29 +0000 http://fauxrealtho.com/2008/03/22/the-real-problem-with-single-parents-is-that-they-dont-feel-enough-judgement-and-self-doubt/#comment-208651 Yoffe has this breathtakingly annoying manner, as she patiently tries to explain to all of us how children just <b>are</b> better off with two married heterosexuals, and how global warming just <b>is</b> a matter of <a href="http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2007/06/24/AR2007062401374.html" rel="nofollow">scare tactics and dumb dumb liberals</a>. And all delivered in such a mild, reasonable, long-suffering tone of voice. SUCH a charmer. Yoffe has this breathtakingly annoying manner, as she patiently tries to explain to all of us how children just are better off with two married heterosexuals, and how global warming just is a matter of scare tactics and dumb dumb liberals.

And all delivered in such a mild, reasonable, long-suffering tone of voice. SUCH a charmer.

]]> By: A Brief Note On “Illegitimacy” at Faux Real http://fauxrealtho.com/2008/03/22/the-real-problem-with-single-parents-is-that-they-dont-feel-enough-judgement-and-self-doubt/#comment-208646 A Brief Note On “Illegitimacy” at Faux Real Tue, 25 Mar 2008 23:42:01 +0000 http://fauxrealtho.com/2008/03/22/the-real-problem-with-single-parents-is-that-they-dont-feel-enough-judgement-and-self-doubt/#comment-208646 [...] from the comments, this short history lesson by the ever-brilliant La Lubu: Here’s a thought: reinterpretation. Take this quote for example, “In 1999 congressional [...] [...] from the comments, this short history lesson by the ever-brilliant La Lubu: Here’s a thought: reinterpretation. Take this quote for example, “In 1999 congressional [...]

]]> By: The Lilith Blog :: Marriage-Minded http://fauxrealtho.com/2008/03/22/the-real-problem-with-single-parents-is-that-they-dont-feel-enough-judgement-and-self-doubt/#comment-208587 The Lilith Blog :: Marriage-Minded Tue, 25 Mar 2008 21:29:36 +0000 http://fauxrealtho.com/2008/03/22/the-real-problem-with-single-parents-is-that-they-dont-feel-enough-judgement-and-self-doubt/#comment-208587 [...] ridiculous assertions that unmarried parents are the greatest shande of our times, and we’d read fabulous feminist rebuttals and everybody could be [...] [...] ridiculous assertions that unmarried parents are the greatest shande of our times, and we’d read fabulous feminist rebuttals and everybody could be [...]

]]> By: alyssa http://fauxrealtho.com/2008/03/22/the-real-problem-with-single-parents-is-that-they-dont-feel-enough-judgement-and-self-doubt/#comment-208569 alyssa Tue, 25 Mar 2008 21:14:27 +0000 http://fauxrealtho.com/2008/03/22/the-real-problem-with-single-parents-is-that-they-dont-feel-enough-judgement-and-self-doubt/#comment-208569 Oooh! It's so nice to be reminded how eeeeevil I really am because frankly with my two brilliant, well-adjusted, accomplished (college age) daughters I'd have to think that maybe I didn't do such a bad job with this parenting thing, even without the All-Important Penis about to guide me. Now I see how they actually turned out so well: Magic. Back to self-recrimination for me! PS Fuck you on a pogo stick, Emily Yoffe!!!! Smooches, Alyssa Oooh! It’s so nice to be reminded how eeeeevil I really am because frankly with my two brilliant, well-adjusted, accomplished (college age) daughters I’d have to think that maybe I didn’t do such a bad job with this parenting thing, even without the All-Important Penis about to guide me. Now I see how they actually turned out so well: Magic. Back to self-recrimination for me!

PS Fuck you on a pogo stick, Emily Yoffe!!!!

Smooches,
Alyssa

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