“putting on airs”

“giving herself airs”

an idiom: to pretend you are better than others; pretentious; elitist

I’m glad you didn’t change your name to Chef’s (nothing against Chef or his last name). Yours has airs about it when combined with your first name, something Chef’s just cannot match.

Only once did a notable sexist I worked for who enjoyed asking people personal and probing questions ask me about my choice. Since I have three kids he thought it disrespectful of them that I would elect to drop a name they had to wear for perpetuity. Although he didn’t argue on the fact that I shouldn’t have to shoulder my ex’s name forever, he did find a way to insinuate that I was selfish and mean spirited. “How will your kids feel?” he asked, “How will people know they are your kids?” he continued, “You’d even have to have two names on your mailbox!”

I told him the kids are fine with it, they understand that he is their father and thus his genes are part of theirs; their heritage, thus they carry it. I don’t share his genes, he’s not my father and I no longer hold a bond of marriage to him, why should I pretend I do? Why should he be able to leave his mark on me forever? He only shrugged at that, standing by his latter statements but unable to make a comeback nonetheless.

I don’t regret my decision although I’m sure there are many who think like he does, but just don’t say anything.

If you are feminist, the first order of business is to realize that nearly every act you partake in to define yourself that runs against the patriarchal rules will be questioned. Of course Lauren, you know this.