Comments on: The Holes In My Parachute, Or Why Gentleman Farmerhood Sometimes Appeals To The Jaded http://fauxrealtho.com/2007/10/26/the-holes-in-my-parachute-or-why-gentleman-farmerhood-sometimes-appeals-to-the-jaded/ Wed, 20 Aug 2008 11:05:53 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.6 By: When I Say I Thought About Hyphenating, I Was Thinking About Mozilla-Pujols at Faux Real http://fauxrealtho.com/2007/10/26/the-holes-in-my-parachute-or-why-gentleman-farmerhood-sometimes-appeals-to-the-jaded/#comment-124823 When I Say I Thought About Hyphenating, I Was Thinking About Mozilla-Pujols at Faux Real Sun, 18 Nov 2007 01:27:03 +0000 http://fauxrealtho.com/2007/10/26/the-holes-in-my-parachute-or-why-gentleman-farmerhood-sometimes-appeals-to-the-jaded/#comment-124823 [...] I opted not to change my last name when Chef and I married a couple of months ago, not that I didn’t consider it. As with many decisions, now that I’m in my martini phase, I didn’t take it too seriously. Although both of our last names are “normal” Anglo-Saxon names, I do like his better aesthetically, and at what other point in my life would I get the opportunity to change my surname without raising the familial eyebrow? If I did anything at all, I wanted to hyphenate, or go legal one way and use a different professional name in the other. I also suggested that we both change our last names to Goatse but Chef wasn’t open to the idea.* [...] [...] I opted not to change my last name when Chef and I married a couple of months ago, not that I didn’t consider it. As with many decisions, now that I’m in my martini phase, I didn’t take it too seriously. Although both of our last names are “normal” Anglo-Saxon names, I do like his better aesthetically, and at what other point in my life would I get the opportunity to change my surname without raising the familial eyebrow? If I did anything at all, I wanted to hyphenate, or go legal one way and use a different professional name in the other. I also suggested that we both change our last names to Goatse but Chef wasn’t open to the idea.* [...]

]]> By: Cinnamon http://fauxrealtho.com/2007/10/26/the-holes-in-my-parachute-or-why-gentleman-farmerhood-sometimes-appeals-to-the-jaded/#comment-116295 Cinnamon Sat, 03 Nov 2007 05:17:14 +0000 http://fauxrealtho.com/2007/10/26/the-holes-in-my-parachute-or-why-gentleman-farmerhood-sometimes-appeals-to-the-jaded/#comment-116295 When I graduated from college I moved to Chicago and got an affordable apartment that I shared with my guy and I worked 2-3 jobs to just be able to pay the minimums. And then I found out that someone I was training, who didn't have a degree, was making 25% more than me because he had child support to pay and besides I had a man so what did I need money for. This 1997, not1957. And I was depressed and when my boss started throwing things at me (like scissors), I got a new job. This new job ended up paying me as much in 50 hours as my 70 hours of other jobs paid me. And for a year and a half I kicked back and drank martinis. And then I got bored and the blogging world sucked me in, and now I have far more activities than I have time. And even though the stress makes me miss the days of martinis, I'm happier and more proud of myself than I've ever been. It's been 10 years since Igraduated and the past 4 have been great. And I have dyslexia and adult onset ADHD, probably due to the multi-tasking nature of my job and my internet addiction. This is all to say that you are not alone. And there isn't anything wrong with wanting a break, and a martini, and brainless work. And as soon as this isn't enough, you'll find something that fulfills you more. And when you're ready, people will come out of the woodwork to pass on contacts and resume advice. Until then, one olive? or two? When I graduated from college I moved to Chicago and got an affordable apartment that I shared with my guy and I worked 2-3 jobs to just be able to pay the minimums. And then I found out that someone I was training, who didn’t have a degree, was making 25% more than me because he had child support to pay and besides I had a man so what did I need money for. This 1997, not1957. And I was depressed and when my boss started throwing things at me (like scissors), I got a new job. This new job ended up paying me as much in 50 hours as my 70 hours of other jobs paid me. And for a year and a half I kicked back and drank martinis. And then I got bored and the blogging world sucked me in, and now I have far more activities than I have time. And even though the stress makes me miss the days of martinis, I’m happier and more proud of myself than I’ve ever been. It’s been 10 years since Igraduated and the past 4 have been great.

And I have dyslexia and adult onset ADHD, probably due to the multi-tasking nature of my job and my internet addiction.

This is all to say that you are not alone. And there isn’t anything wrong with wanting a break, and a martini, and brainless work. And as soon as this isn’t enough, you’ll find something that fulfills you more. And when you’re ready, people will come out of the woodwork to pass on contacts and resume advice. Until then, one olive? or two?

]]> By: Noli Irritare Leones » Blog Archive » Blogwatch http://fauxrealtho.com/2007/10/26/the-holes-in-my-parachute-or-why-gentleman-farmerhood-sometimes-appeals-to-the-jaded/#comment-113979 Noli Irritare Leones » Blog Archive » Blogwatch Mon, 29 Oct 2007 15:53:14 +0000 http://fauxrealtho.com/2007/10/26/the-holes-in-my-parachute-or-why-gentleman-farmerhood-sometimes-appeals-to-the-jaded/#comment-113979 [...] What Color Are the Holes in Your Parachute? La Lubu blogs at Feministe about having a micro-premie baby, and then losing her job and health insurance. Also, a speech she gave for the April 2006 Workers’ Memorial in Illinous. And Lauren comments further on La Lubu’s holes in your parachute post. [...] [...] What Color Are the Holes in Your Parachute? La Lubu blogs at Feministe about having a micro-premie baby, and then losing her job and health insurance. Also, a speech she gave for the April 2006 Workers’ Memorial in Illinous. And Lauren comments further on La Lubu’s holes in your parachute post. [...]

]]> By: zuzu http://fauxrealtho.com/2007/10/26/the-holes-in-my-parachute-or-why-gentleman-farmerhood-sometimes-appeals-to-the-jaded/#comment-113057 zuzu Sun, 28 Oct 2007 03:37:40 +0000 http://fauxrealtho.com/2007/10/26/the-holes-in-my-parachute-or-why-gentleman-farmerhood-sometimes-appeals-to-the-jaded/#comment-113057 <i>Zuzu, I’m actually about two years out of college.</i> OK, so you got 39 years until retirement instead of 40. Meaning, you'll be in harness for a long goddamn time. Don't think that you're locked in to what you're doing right now for the next 40 years. Zuzu, I’m actually about two years out of college.

OK, so you got 39 years until retirement instead of 40.

Meaning, you’ll be in harness for a long goddamn time. Don’t think that you’re locked in to what you’re doing right now for the next 40 years.

]]> By: Linnaeus http://fauxrealtho.com/2007/10/26/the-holes-in-my-parachute-or-why-gentleman-farmerhood-sometimes-appeals-to-the-jaded/#comment-112993 Linnaeus Sun, 28 Oct 2007 00:20:21 +0000 http://fauxrealtho.com/2007/10/26/the-holes-in-my-parachute-or-why-gentleman-farmerhood-sometimes-appeals-to-the-jaded/#comment-112993 <blockquote>Who am I and how did I get here again? But mostly martinis.</blockquote> And you may ask yourself, "Well, how did I get here?" <blockquote>There’s only so far that the ability to hyperfocus under extreme pressure can take you. I just keep looking back at my life choices, college choices, everything, and thinking… I had so much potential. I still have potential, and get various mentors going nuts about me, but I’m 30 and potential is nothing you can hang your hat on.</blockquote> Word. I'm a little older than you and I'm feeling very much the same way. Great Things were supposed to be in store for me ten years ago, when I thought I'd found my way out of the dead end I was in at the time. But it hasn't worked out that way, for a lot of reasons, but mostly due to my own choices.

Who am I and how did I get here again? But mostly martinis.

And you may ask yourself, “Well, how did I get here?”

There’s only so far that the ability to hyperfocus under extreme pressure can take you. I just keep looking back at my life choices, college choices, everything, and thinking… I had so much potential. I still have potential, and get various mentors going nuts about me, but I’m 30 and potential is nothing you can hang your hat on.

Word. I’m a little older than you and I’m feeling very much the same way. Great Things were supposed to be in store for me ten years ago, when I thought I’d found my way out of the dead end I was in at the time. But it hasn’t worked out that way, for a lot of reasons, but mostly due to my own choices.

]]> By: kali http://fauxrealtho.com/2007/10/26/the-holes-in-my-parachute-or-why-gentleman-farmerhood-sometimes-appeals-to-the-jaded/#comment-112916 kali Sat, 27 Oct 2007 21:29:56 +0000 http://fauxrealtho.com/2007/10/26/the-holes-in-my-parachute-or-why-gentleman-farmerhood-sometimes-appeals-to-the-jaded/#comment-112916 Thanks so much for writing this post. ADD as well, and I very stupidly pushed my luck by staying on for the PhD programme after going back to college for a master's degree. There's only so far that the ability to hyperfocus under extreme pressure can take you. I just keep looking back at my life choices, college choices, everything, and thinking... <i>I had so much potential.</i> I still have potential, and get various mentors going nuts about me, but I'm 30 and potential is nothing you can hang your hat on. Anyway. Not alone. I'm going to be starting from the bottom of a new field now that I've decided to look for work again. (i don't like to suggest posts for someone else's blog, but if you felt like making a post for people to share ADD coping strategies, I think that might be enlightening.) Thanks so much for writing this post. ADD as well, and I very stupidly pushed my luck by staying on for the PhD programme after going back to college for a master’s degree. There’s only so far that the ability to hyperfocus under extreme pressure can take you. I just keep looking back at my life choices, college choices, everything, and thinking… I had so much potential. I still have potential, and get various mentors going nuts about me, but I’m 30 and potential is nothing you can hang your hat on. Anyway. Not alone. I’m going to be starting from the bottom of a new field now that I’ve decided to look for work again.

(i don’t like to suggest posts for someone else’s blog, but if you felt like making a post for people to share ADD coping strategies, I think that might be enlightening.)

]]> By: palamedes http://fauxrealtho.com/2007/10/26/the-holes-in-my-parachute-or-why-gentleman-farmerhood-sometimes-appeals-to-the-jaded/#comment-112909 palamedes Sat, 27 Oct 2007 20:44:04 +0000 http://fauxrealtho.com/2007/10/26/the-holes-in-my-parachute-or-why-gentleman-farmerhood-sometimes-appeals-to-the-jaded/#comment-112909 Lauren, I think Amanda is onto something in both her trains of thought. First, PUCC, or whatever they call it these days, would probably love to have your skill set. Second, any major change in your above-board life, such as marriage, is a great opportunity to change the public perception of yourself in general. Your new husband becoming your husband can be used as cover for why you are where you are now as you try to "trade up" to a position of higher standing, or at least one that truly works better for you in somesuch way. (In the sense of "Well, now that I'm not raising a child alone, I can take on more challenging path with my career." Yes, I know, very blahblahblah, but...) I know that this all sounds neo-Victorian, but hey, sometimes this is just how it works. I'm always somewhere between irritated and fascinated in how people reflect their selves back at me as they interpret who I am as a result of being a single parent. The interpretations aren't always fair and rarely accurate, but they are still perceptions that you can work to your advantage if and as necessary. (I don't like to play that game myself, but having in seen far too often how single female parents are slotted into a far more demanding set of requirements than male single parents (though I sometimes also get very, very tired of being treated like a puppy that's finally master paper training), you use what you have at your disposal.) My two bits... Lauren, I think Amanda is onto something in both her trains of thought.

First, PUCC, or whatever they call it these days, would probably love to have your skill set.

Second, any major change in your above-board life, such as marriage, is a great opportunity to change the public perception of yourself in general. Your new husband becoming your husband can be used as cover for why you are where you are now as you try to “trade up” to a position of higher standing, or at least one that truly works better for you in somesuch way. (In the sense of “Well, now that I’m not raising a child alone, I can take on more challenging path with my career.” Yes, I know, very blahblahblah, but…) I know that this all sounds neo-Victorian, but hey, sometimes this is just how it works.

I’m always somewhere between irritated and fascinated in how people reflect their selves back at me as they interpret who I am as a result of being a single parent. The interpretations aren’t always fair and rarely accurate, but they are still perceptions that you can work to your advantage if and as necessary. (I don’t like to play that game myself, but having in seen far too often how single female parents are slotted into a far more demanding set of requirements than male single parents (though I sometimes also get very, very tired of being treated like a puppy that’s finally master paper training), you use what you have at your disposal.)

My two bits…

]]> By: Lauren http://fauxrealtho.com/2007/10/26/the-holes-in-my-parachute-or-why-gentleman-farmerhood-sometimes-appeals-to-the-jaded/#comment-112776 Lauren Sat, 27 Oct 2007 16:54:30 +0000 http://fauxrealtho.com/2007/10/26/the-holes-in-my-parachute-or-why-gentleman-farmerhood-sometimes-appeals-to-the-jaded/#comment-112776 Zuzu, I'm actually about two years out of college. Zuzu, I’m actually about two years out of college.

]]> By: Lauren http://fauxrealtho.com/2007/10/26/the-holes-in-my-parachute-or-why-gentleman-farmerhood-sometimes-appeals-to-the-jaded/#comment-112773 Lauren Sat, 27 Oct 2007 16:53:50 +0000 http://fauxrealtho.com/2007/10/26/the-holes-in-my-parachute-or-why-gentleman-farmerhood-sometimes-appeals-to-the-jaded/#comment-112773 Well, I think part of what got me past the depression part and into the ennui part of this thing is realizing that this isn't a personal failure. I *know* that there are a lot of others out there like me, but sometimes (especially when meeting with my financially soaring friends) I wonder if there was some misstep along the way that I ought to be avoiding in the future. I guess the overwhelming feeling I get in sum is bewilderment. Who am I and how did I get here again? But mostly martinis. Well, I think part of what got me past the depression part and into the ennui part of this thing is realizing that this isn’t a personal failure. I *know* that there are a lot of others out there like me, but sometimes (especially when meeting with my financially soaring friends) I wonder if there was some misstep along the way that I ought to be avoiding in the future. I guess the overwhelming feeling I get in sum is bewilderment.

Who am I and how did I get here again? But mostly martinis.

]]> By: zuzu http://fauxrealtho.com/2007/10/26/the-holes-in-my-parachute-or-why-gentleman-farmerhood-sometimes-appeals-to-the-jaded/#comment-112747 zuzu Sat, 27 Oct 2007 15:45:40 +0000 http://fauxrealtho.com/2007/10/26/the-holes-in-my-parachute-or-why-gentleman-farmerhood-sometimes-appeals-to-the-jaded/#comment-112747 Jeez, Lauren, you're barely a year out of college. It's not too late. Mind you, I just got laid off from my latest temp job, I've got no savings, my resume is less and less attractive to permanent employers as time goes on, and the only way out I see right now is packing up, moving elsewhere, and maybe going back to school. Also: ADD here, too. Finding that out explained a lot, even though I don't have the insurance to actually do anything about it. Jeez, Lauren, you’re barely a year out of college. It’s not too late.

Mind you, I just got laid off from my latest temp job, I’ve got no savings, my resume is less and less attractive to permanent employers as time goes on, and the only way out I see right now is packing up, moving elsewhere, and maybe going back to school.

Also: ADD here, too. Finding that out explained a lot, even though I don’t have the insurance to actually do anything about it.

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