Last week I picked Ethan up after work and as soon as he buckled his carseat he dropped the bomb.
Ethan: Mom, did you know Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny don’t exist?
Me: Really?
Ethan: Yeah. Parents just take your Christmas list and buy you stuff off it and say it’s from Santa, and on Easter the adults just hide stuff like eggs and chocolate and make fancy baskets.
Me: Really? Where did you hear this?
Ethan: A kid from school.
Me: Well, it’s totally true.
Ethan: I knew it!
Later this weekend some friends came from out of town and we spent Saturday night at a hotel pool with our brood of children. Parental wisdom was exchanged, like, “Don’t eat that breadstick off the floor, people bring hookers in here,” and, “This isn’t a real hot dog, it’s a veggie dog,” and, “We are poor! We never come to the pool, so you’re not allowed to whine! Swim it off!” and other such winnable nuggets.
Ethan, while lounging in the whirlpool, thought it appropriate to tell my friends’ children that Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny are a lie parents tell their kids to make holidays more exciting. The words came out of his mouth and I waved my hands, gritted my teeth, and pointedly shook my head at him as he proceeded to crush a level of innocence in the other children. “What?” he asked. “You said it was true.”
“Santa Claus doesn’t exist?” one of the little boys asked his mom.
“No, he exists,” we mothers lied.
Ethan stared back at me in disbelief. “Mom!”
“You’re not supposed to tell them!”
“Why not?”
and next you will teach him to pull the wings off of butterflies????
j/k How the hell are you? We really should get together soon!
My brother told me (he is one year older), and then proved it by showing me every hidden Christmas present in the house!
Me, I can’t keep a secret… so eventually told Mom I knew. She’s still mad at us for knowing the presents that year.
Santa rox!
If it were my oldest, I’d tell him it’s a “rite of passage”; that it’s something kids should figure out for themselves, and that now that he knows, he’s a little more an adolescent and less a little kid. I’d tell him not to go spreading it to show how cool he is, because it’s supposed to be secret knowledge that separates kids by maturity.
The concept may be over his head, but if it isn’t, that’s a milestone in itself.
My $0.02 of course — I could take a lot more parenting lessons from you than you could take from me, if E is any indication.
Dr. Venture: “So you see, by applying the basic principles of the scientific method to the matter, we learn very quickly that the myth of the chupacabra is just that - utter crap. Now, if you apply the same principles to Catholicism, an interesting thing occurs…”
He let me (Grandma) know that he was “shocked” to learn about Santa and the Easter Bunny. I told him not to tell the cousins who are here visiting, ages 11 and 12. We must keep the myth alive!!