Since I’ve been tagged twice on this muh I guess I have to do it. Just for fun, one of these isn’t true.
1. Every time I’m driving and I see a rabbit I scream “Bunny!” at the top of my lungs and curse it for crossing the road in front of big scary machines.
2. I don’t lie. Not only am I bad at it (as in can not lie) but I hate liars and people that make excuses for them.
3. I just got glasses last week and they’re like totally cool.
4. I am allergic to deodorant. Apparently I’m also allergic to inhalers. These are my only known allergies.
5. I cried at the end of Nacho Libre.
Consider yourself tagged.
You CRIED?? NO!!!
Just a little. I blame birth control hormones.
That deordorant allergy explains a lot.
Also, glasses are très hott. Mais oui!
It sure explains the cysts on my lymph nodes.
My glasses are way hott. You don’t even know, dude.
I suspect that you really don’t lie and have no tolerance for liers, but one of these items is a lie. So I wonder if this is some trick where #2 is false. But, again, I doubt it. So I’ll go with the bunny thing as the extremely uncharacteristic lie.
The truth is all of them are true.
I really do yell at bunnies who cross the road in front of me. Faux pas!
So here’s the biggest secret. Every time I lie I confess that I’m lying. There you go.
I developed a antiperspirant allergy a few years ago…but I found that Almay’s hypoallergenic antiperspirant/deoderant works for me. You might want to give it a try. (You can read customer reviews at Drugstore.com — Search “Almay Anti-Perspirant & Deodorant”
But the very fact that you said there was a lie, made it a lie.
Here’s five more, four of them true:
I do not drink alcohol or eat invertibrates. The latter is a mere preference, and every few years I’ll test it to see if I still dislike them.
When I have a crush on someone, I tell my wife. We both believe that I deal better with temptation when I keep it right out in front of me where I can keep a close eye on it.
I have been on the last bus at night to leave Rikers Island, which went over the bridge into Queens and let people off at a Dunkin Donuts in front of a subway stop.
Because of some events in my past professional life, I rotate several different routes between my home and office so that my movements cannot be predicted. The office staff has been given security instructions that do not apply to any other lawyer in the office.
I once foolishly tried to climb a razor-wire fence. I was actually a little mesmerized when one of the barbs passed smoothly into my hand and came out somewhere else. The scar is mostly invisible, but I can still find it.
The Situation: Late night. Bit of wine consumed. Conversation ensues.
Lauren: So… apparently IFC has made a deal with one of our local cable providers. You can actually rent, via On-Demand features, independent films that are still playing in theaters. You know, things that would never otherwise hit the Midwest.
Chef: I’ve noticed that there have been quite a few independent films featured in the On-Demand category.
Lauren: Yeah, there’s that. But there’s this whole new category dedicated to indie films that are currently playing in theaters.
Chef: Cool.
(time elapses)
Lauren: Hey, we should watch ‘Nacho Libre’!!
(which we do, minus the crying this time)
I dated a gal who was allergic to deodorants, worked out all the time, and went au naturel all the time. Man, there’s some truth to what they say about pheromones, because I thought it was totally hot. When she met my friends one hot day, however, one of them whispered to me, “Hugo, how can you not drop a hint?”
I’m from the Napoleon Bonaparte school on the bathing habits of one’s partners.
And that’s a little Yuletide TMI.
Oh, and BTW, I have no doubt, Lauren, that the glasses are hot.