When you feel like crap, how do you cure yourself of the doldrums?
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I’ve been living with major depression for almost 10 years, so that either makes me an expert at dealing with feeling crappy, or the worst person to give advice about cheering yourself up. You have been warned!
- taking hot baths while listening to good music and reading favourite books (I find Belle and Sebastian pretty good bathtime reading music, especially songs where they reference feeling sad and reading books but YMMV)
- watching favourite life-affirming movies like Antonia’s Line
- watching ridiculous teen movies like 10 Things I Hate About You. Extra points if they involve cheerleading - Bring It On and Sugar and Spice are the classics of the genre.
- going for long walks with your favorite people and/or animals
- working out. It’s so hard for me to talk myself into going to the gym, popping in the yoga video, or going for a jog when I feel bad, but it always always works.
- doing a small crafty project. Small = pretty immediate gratification feeling of accomplishment.
- calling people and very directly asking for the support you need. It can be hard to ask for the support we need from family and friends, especially during the holiday season when everyone’s busy and stressed out. The worst thing they can say is no, and the people who love you will probably go out of their way to say yes, or find a good alternative.
Let me recommend the “Bring it On” suggestion. Normally, I’d got for working out too — but alas, I am sick and a bit in the doldrums about it, and can’t work out much. So cheesy movies and the sunday paper.
I drink lots of eggnog (made with yummy rum) and celebrate a Patrick Swayze Christmas.
Listen to sad music and cry. Call a friend and cry. Then when you’ve cried your eyes puffy, go take a long, long nap. And remember it does eventually get better.
Doldrums or depression?
I like to go out and be social, and that usually picks me up. However, I may have a certain flexibility to do so that you don’t. In that case, I find that 1) some wine or beer, 2) music from my youth, 3) a fun movie all usually help.
Word. I’m thinking raspberry framboise and the season finale of “Dexter.”
Lauren, may I come over? That sounds good. I won’t get to watch the season finale of “Dexter” until tomorrow, when I can go over to my friends’ apartment (they are so very kind) and watch it on their cable/TiVO/ShowTime-ified television.
As for doldrums/depression/blegh….I got nothing. Except for maybe music. Country/western, the music of pain.
“Raspberry framboise”? You drinkin’ a lambic?
Of course I’m drinking lambic. Sheesh.
What’s a “Dexter”?
Okay, Lauren…just asking!
(I like lambics too)
Listen to 80s girl bands. The Go-Gos, The Bangles, Bananarama.
Hot shit. Makes me feel much better in no time. ;-)
I like to air-drum to Muse at full volume.
Sex, drugs and rock n roll…
Bourbon always seems to work for me. At least until I wake up.
Excercise has been shown in studies to be as effective as common perscription medications for helping to alleviate depression. So, I try to skateboard whenever I muster the gumption. Also, dancing or karaoke are good things for me that are active and generally people compliment me on so that helps my mood a lot. Sometimes the latter two tend to be assisted with the aforementioned bourbon. It’s like the nectar of the Gods, only made from corn in Kentucky.
Also, I like to watch movies. Lots and lots of movies. For some reason, the ones that make me cry are my favorites. Like A Little Princess, for example. Alone is fine, but it’s better if you can get someone close to watch them with you. As long as they can stand the unshowered stench and uncontrolled sobbing, of course.
Go for a walk. Regular gentle exercise isn’t quite a miracle cure, but it’s a pretty darn good panacea. If it’s cold, take the boy to the mall and people-watch or window-shop, as you prefer.
Or fight club. Fight club is always fun.
Cheesy musicals, chocolate covered strawberries and my fluffiest pajamas and slippers.
Hi, Lauren. I don’t mean to sound too “You must reflect, grasshopper,” or too rah-rahy, but I usually try to spend some time alone and in silence (though this may not be the most conducive to introspection for everyone) trying to figure out what exactly is bothering me. Sometimes it’s something I can’t do anything about. Sometimes, though, there’s something vague bothering me, and if I think about why exactly it’s bothering me, I’ll realize either than I’m being irrational about something or that there are some concrete things I can do to improve the situation. Again, I hate to sound jejune, but coming up with a concrete goal and working to achieve it is probably helpful.
Also, and again this is fairly banal, but talking things out can help. Not only can people point out that you’re being unrealistic about things, but I think a lot of the pressure from certain problems comes from keeping them in your own head.
I do find that trying to get clarity about what exactly is bothering me and why helps. Ofterntimes I find that I’m depressed about some vague thing that seems unlikely to happen or to happen again, but if I think about it, I’ll realize that whatever I hope to get from that thing can be gotten in other ways (and would not, in fact, necessarily follow from whatever luminous object or event I had been pining away for). I hope that’s not too convulted and abstract. I don’t want to speculate about what may be bothering you, but I hope this helps at least somewhat. I hope you’re feeling better.
Ususally when I feel like crap, I am sick and don’t know it. THe best thing to do if you feel all tired and clunky and retarded, and it MIGHT be from having a virus or an infection (sinus infections are often asymptomatic except for tiredness and inability to work up any enthusiasm for ANYTHING) is: SLEEP SLEEP SLEEP. THen EAT and SLEEP some more. For healthy people, often that is all the body needs to heal itself.
If you are talking about feeling like you have wasted your LIFE and and you are a POS, then I would suggest 1) Forcibly stop yourself from thinking bum-Out thoughts about yourself BY ANY MEANS NECESSARY. Turn of the self-castigating or envious tape in your mind and
read
exercise
do something, FORCE YOURSELF, something creative if you can, or something that makes you feel better (like cleaning)(I mean if having things clean makes you feel good) FORCED ACTIVITY!! It does something to the brain chemistry.
If you are feeling SUICIDAL, watching movies and TV are better than KILLING YOURSELF, but as a boost to just feeling emotionally crappy, they can bring you down in the long run.
I cocoon and read manga in bed.
I was only re-reminded of this the other day, but: here are some baby quadruplets. And they are laughing. Hahahaha heeheehee, I dare you to feel sad after watching quadruplets laughing. http://youtube.com/watch?v=9Bwi9GyTxPc
And, if it helps, there are lots of internets mofos who think you’re the shit.
Tell someone off. Spend one day telling everyone exactly what you think of them.
season finale of “Dexter.”
I’m totally hooked. With the new revelations about his family, I can’t wait for next season. However, they are humanizing him too much now. They need to really keep the writers in line on the sociopathy issue. He may have a fondness for his sister and some other people, but for the most part he will remain unable to think of other people as anything other than pieces on his personal chass board. By the later episodes, they were giving in to the temptation to humanize him too much.
I really want to know what was up with his bio-dad at the time of his mother’s death. There’s a story there.
Also, I LOVE Dokes. The opposition between him and Dexter was what got me to watch the pilot — Dexter’s observation that, with all the cops around him who supposedly had a keen insight into the human psyche, Dokes was the only one who he gave the creeps. Dokes is a dark, dark creature. Like Dex, he is a killer, and he killed at least one very bad person in cold blood and got away with it. He’s ex Spec Ops or CIA or something — a “ghoul,” a black-ops bad guy. He’s a monster who lives by a code, like Dex. He’s a trained fighter and assassin, like Dex. He is capable of killing without the intermediation of conscience, like Dex. Dex is that way because of one event that he was young enough to block out, while it looks like Dokes became a monster on purpose, through rigorous training. It is because of, not in spite of, their similarities that Dokes sees Dexter for what he is. As they say, “the devil knows his own.”
It is because of, not in spite of, their similarities that Dokes sees Dexter for what he is. As they say, “the devil knows his own.”
Yep, and the babydaddy of Dex’s girlfriend. I also think Dokes has something for Dex’s sister.
I agree though, they have got to move away from their urge to humanize the sociopath. Merely finding out about his own “birth” story, as it were, wouldn’t take a true sociopath suddenly into a realm of so-called normal conscience.
And isn’t the opening sequence brilliant?
Ooh, I’m stoked I have a fellow fan.
Rita’s babydaddy Paul is not in their depth. Sure, he recognizes that something is up wiht Dex. But most people would in personal circumstances. It’s the work environment that gives Dex cover in the office — he does his job and makes small talk. Hell, I pass for normal at work. His neighbors probably think he’s normal because he keeps it to small talk with them. “He’s quiet. Keeps to himself. Pleasant enough.” But he doesn’t have friends. In social interaction, that he’s “off” should be clear. Rita doesn’t see it because she doesn’t want to, and because that’s where he tries the hardest. Paul has every reason not to like him, and so easily sees the flaws that one should see.
Paul is just a piece of shit. He’s a bad guy; a normal human who fails his most basic obligations. He’s not wired differently. He’s not tough enough to be a monster. He needs two promotions just to get in the monster training program.
Dex and Dokes are to the rest of us as the lion is to the zebra.
Dokes and Deb may fall for each other. That would drive a lot of plot. That would be three monsters for Deb.