Faux Real

19 Responses to “Settle The Argument”

1. 1 Daniel Dec 11th, 2006 at 12:04 am

   Ice-T. I hope you win the bet. ‘Cause no one should ever bet on Judd Nelson.

2. 2 punkass marc Dec 11th, 2006 at 12:09 am

   Oh man, for a sec I read that as “Judge Reinhold,” and I got excited.

   Teenage Judd Nelson was the best, followed by any version of Ice-T. Adult Judd Nelson compares more favorably to bathtub mildew than another actor.

3. 3 Auguste Dec 11th, 2006 at 12:11 am

   I dunno, I think it’s Ice-T - a former jewel thief and pimp playing a cop! THAT’S some serious versatility.

4. 4 Sundre Dec 11th, 2006 at 12:14 am

   Judd Nelson:Breakfast Club, St Elmo’s Fire, and Suddanly Susan.

   Ice T: Tank Girl, Johnny Mnemonic, and Law & Order.

   Er. Is there a third option?

5. 5 SarahS Dec 11th, 2006 at 12:23 am

   Ice T… no contest!

6. 6 Amanda Marcotte Dec 11th, 2006 at 12:27 am

   Judd Nelson, just for the line, “Let’s go back to the station and cornhole us a drunk,” in Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back. Yeah, I laughed. I’m not ashamed.

7. 7 punkass marc Dec 11th, 2006 at 12:36 am

   Isn’t Ice-T a little stiff on that show? I forget which Law and Order it is, but whenever I’ve come across it, I’ve always been struck by how rigid he seems.

   At least young Judd Nelson sold lines like “I want to be just like you. I figure all I need is a lobotomy and some tights.” and “You’re an idiot anyway. But if you say you get along with your parents, well, you’re a liar too.” Those are hard sells on the page, but he kinda pulled ‘em off.

8. 8 Heraclitus Dec 11th, 2006 at 2:09 am

   I actually think Ice-T has developed into a half-way decent actor, although Judd Nelson was superb in that movie with Shaq (”Eat the hotdog, don’t be one”). There were a few episodes last year when Finn “struggled” with his gay son, and Ice-T did a pretty good job. Ludacris (sp?) was also on an episode, and did very well. And I think there was an episode this year where I thought Ice-T gave a pretty good performance. He’s come a long way from “Evil Dick” (not about a malevolent private eye).

9. 9 Chef Dec 11th, 2006 at 3:41 am

   While Ice T established his credentials as a true gangsta, Judd Nelson stood idly by, asserting himself as an bitch of 80’s culture in movies like “The Breakfast Club”.

   While Judd Nelson bitched about his old man and his old lady, Ice T rapped about slappin’ up some bitches.

   Judd Nelson got a bit of street-cred in “New Jack City”; unfortunately this was trumped by The Iceberg’s presence in said film.

   And, apparently, Judd Nelson’s a bitch.

   Ice T’s genius shines through, though. In lyrics from his early albums, you learn of ski-trips where women are penetrated with icicle-like objects… and where other women are trying to kill him. But not with a gun or a knife or a grenade… it’s something a bit more intimate.

   And then there’s this equation:

   Ice T Body Count “Law and Order”= WTF

10. 10 norbizness Dec 11th, 2006 at 10:34 am

    Ice-T wanted to shoot somebody so bad his dick was hard, and I believed him. But he’s no Mario van Peebles.

11. 11 Chris Clarke Dec 11th, 2006 at 10:43 am

    I’m writing in my vote: dog number 4 from Eight Below.

12. 12 mac Dec 11th, 2006 at 11:24 am

    I know it’s very un-feminist of me to have a crush on a guy who pedalled women on the street for a while and married a porn star, I do. I love Ice-T.

    Whereas I want to punch Judd Nelson in the throat.

13. 13 foresmac Dec 11th, 2006 at 1:03 pm

    punkass marc

14. 14 Robert Dec 11th, 2006 at 3:44 pm

    Neither of them approach the greatness that is the Coreys.

15. 15 petitpoussin Dec 11th, 2006 at 7:02 pm

    No! Somebody already said the Coreys!

16. 16 Lauren Dec 12th, 2006 at 11:51 pm

    A Coreys movie broke my DVD player last year. We are prejudiced toward the Coreys.

17. 17 KMTBerry Dec 13th, 2006 at 4:06 am

    Ice T gets my vote

18. 18 Robert Dec 13th, 2006 at 7:56 am

    We are prejudiced toward the Coreys

    And yet you show up on the test as “good”? This does not compute.

19. 19 norbizness Dec 13th, 2006 at 11:17 am

    Was the movie Corey Haim’s 1991 post-apocalyptic rollerblading movie Prayer of the Rollerboys?

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