Faux Real

By House of Mayhem

The Hard Way:

Each recipe makes approx. 10 burritos. You can freeze leftovers, IF ANY! It can be thawed, and with added water, makes a nice stew over rice. Aging improves the flavor!

• 1 head cabbage
• 1 lb. meat-chicken, beef, or pork. Preferably lean and cut into ¼ inch cubes. If using a whole chicken (or leg quarters), boil first, de-bone, then dice the meat from the leg quarters and/or wings. Save leftover chicken (breasts) for enchiladas or salad. (Freeze stock for soups, etc.!)
• 3 large potatoes (peeling is optional. For better results, boil potatoes whole until almost done, then let cool. This dries out the potatoes, and they get that nice crust when you fry them.)
• Green chile (16 oz.) and jalapenos to taste (jalapenos can be omitted for those who prefer not to get burned inside and out!)
• Onions, salt, pepper, garlic to taste
• 1 (16 oz.) can pinto beans, drained, or even better—SOME BEANS THAT YOU COOKED YOURSELF!
• ½ lb. Cheese-Cheddar, Colby, or CoJack
• 1 dozen tortillas, burrito size

LARGE pot or wok, as the cabbage is very bulky. Don’t worry—it’ll cook down!

Prep:

Cut potatoes into large cubes.
Slice cabbage thinly, after removing the heart.
Chop green chile and jalapenos (if necessary–meaning you bought your chile fresh from your next-door neighbor’s field and roasted it, bagged it and put it in your freezer. If you bought your chile AT THE STORE. FROZEN. ALREADY DICED, skip this step. And please accept my condolences.)
Cube meat, trimming off the fat if necessary.
Dice onions.
Grate cheese.

Put 2 tbsp. oil into pot and add potatoes, cooking over medium-low heat (cooking temps may vary—you can try med-hi if it’s not cooking those taties fast enough. Keep an eye on them so they don’t burn.)

Let potatoes get that nice crust on them, then add the meat, onions, and garlic, and stir.

Cook until you can smell the onions and garlic. When the meat is almost cooked, check for any fat: push the meat off to one side and tilt the pot–if there is a lot of fat, spoon off and discard (a little bit of fat is OK).

Then, add the cabbage, salt, and pepper, then cover. After the cabbage ‘sweats’ down to the tender “al dente” stage, add the green chile*, pinto beans and stir occasionally. Cook for five minutes, turn off heat and let it sit for another five minutes.

*NOTE: If the mixture seems watery after sweating the cabbage and adding the chile, simmer uncovered until mixture cooks down, but is still moist.

While the burrito filling is resting, warm tortillas one by one on a griddle or in the microwave (about 45 seconds for a dozen, or 15 seconds each singly. Heating times may vary).

When tortillas are warm, put cabbage filling and cheese in, fold once, fold up one of the open ends and finish rolling into the familiar burrito shape we’ve all come to know and love.

The “Peppy and Cheap” Way”:

• 1 lb. Meat (from above), hamburger meat, or chicken (skip the boiling step) and dice.
• 1 lb. “Southern Style” hash browns—“Potatoes O’Brian” style is good, too.
• 1 head cabbage, thinly sliced, or bagged “cole slaw mix”, usually available in your grocer’s refrigerated produce aisle.
• Green Chile and/or jalapenos to taste
• Onion, salt, pepper, garlic to taste
• 1 can refried beans
• Cheese (from above)
• Tortillas

Prep as above.

Fry potatoes until you get that nice crust. Add beef or pork or chicken (as above) and cook until almost done. Remove fat (if any) and add cabbage (or cole slaw mix), onions, garlic and salt. Sweat cabbage. Add green chile. Stir occasionally to prevent sticking, and let rest for ten minutes (*see above note.)
Warm tortillas on griddle or microwave, and heat refried beans in separate pan.

Spread refried beans over warm tortilla, sprinkle with grated cheese, fill with burrito mixture.

The Vegetarian Way:

Substitute sliced banana squash and zucchini, or firm tofu for meat, and follow directions given above. Easy on the stirring if you’re using tofu—that stuff breaks up real quick. Use soy cheese if you’re a hard-core vegan.

Enjoy!

Other notes on this recipe:

This recipe not only can be made in a low-fat, low-cholesterol way, but it is very tasty and economical as well. Even if you had NO FOOD in your house, you could still bring this meal in under budget and still have leftovers.

For example:

3 large potatoes-$1.59
1 head of cabbage-.89 cents
1 pound of meat-$4.00
1 pound of green chile-$3.00
with–
5 jalapenos-.39 cents
1 onion-.25 cents
Dozen tortillas-$2.00
Cheese-$3.00
Can of pinto beans-.89 cents
Cole slaw mix (bag)-$3.00 max
Frozen potatoes-$2.50 max

These prices are somewhat generous estimates.

If you live alone, or have a medium-sized family, this recipe is pretty good. Of course, it helps if you like burritos.

If you have questions about this recipe, or, even better, improvements — please let me know!