I Am Leaving My Body

We’ve had an enormous fight and I cannot handle it anymore. I’ve dropped hints to the problems we’ve been having, and everyone here has been very supportive. But frankly, I can’t take it any longer.

It culminated this morning when I got out of bed and we had another row. I can’t even look to the left or the right anymore without some kind of resistance, and I feel that if this continues I will be sorely handicapped.

This past month has been a disaster. I mean, it’s attractive, it does a lot of cool things for me, it usually smells nice and it’s great in bed, but between the bronchitis, the hiccups, and now, this neck thing, I think it’s time I get out of the relationship while I still can. What’s next? Sprained ankle? Hernia? Elephantitis? Ass laughed off?

Either it gets rid of its neck, lungs, and diaphragm or I’m out.

7 Responses to “I Am Leaving My Body”


  1. 1 Roxanne Nov 18th, 2006 at 11:39 pm

    Cats?

  2. 2 Lauren Nov 18th, 2006 at 11:40 pm

    Better not be the damned cats.

  3. 3 BB Nov 18th, 2006 at 11:42 pm

    what is it? tell us the answer to the rhyme!

  4. 4 Anne Nov 19th, 2006 at 12:18 am

    Cigs!

  5. 5 Lauren Nov 19th, 2006 at 12:38 am

    I once had a cat named Smokey.

  6. 6 Scott Lemieux Nov 19th, 2006 at 1:14 am

    Oh my. Hopefully it will realize what it has and shape up post hatse…

  7. 7 Ryan Nov 20th, 2006 at 12:08 pm

    Take a “Momentum.” It’s like Doans without the old person stigma.

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