Faux Real

13 Responses to “About Those How-Tos”

1. 1 human Nov 15th, 2006 at 3:17 pm

   My 6th grade science teacher prescribed this remedy, which in my experience has never failed. (But I’ve never had hiccups for two days, either.)

   Get a glass of water. Stand up. Take a sip of water into your mouth but don’t swallow it. Bend over and put your head between your knees. Swallow while you are upside down. Straighten up. Repeat twice more. Voila! No more hiccups.

2. 2 John Nov 15th, 2006 at 3:58 pm

   I concur with swallowing a sip of water upside down. It tends to work.

   Another one I have used with some success is to put a teaspoon of sugar in my mouth and swallow it all at once, and then do it a couple more times if it doesn’t work at first.

3. 3 ilyka Nov 15th, 2006 at 4:14 pm

   Same caveat as human’s–I’ve never had ‘em for that long either. But this is what usually works for me:

   1. Get a glass of water.

   2. Exhale. Push all the air out of your lungs and keep it out, i.e. “hold” your breath without actually holding any. This won’t feel nice.

   3. Take a quick sip of water and swallow it without breathing in any air. Trickier than it sounds. Also will not feel nice.

   4. Repeat #3 twice more, for a total of 3 airless swallows of water. By now, if you’re me, you’re like to pass out.

   5. Breathe in! O sweet oxygen! And once you’ve taken a regular breath, take a regular sip and swallow of water and see if you can’t now burp. You should find it very easy to do, but if you can’t, you’re gonna have to wait a couple minutes and repeat the whole process.

   I think of the whole thing as ctrl-alt-del for your diaphragm. But again, no guarantees.

4. 4 antiprincess Nov 15th, 2006 at 4:17 pm

   oh, hey - I know the answer to this one!

   sit very (hic) quietly. clear (hic) your mind. once you have achieved (hic) as meditative a (hic) state as pos(hic)sible, concentrate on trying to say the word “beep” just as your next hiccup starts to form and rise up your throat.

   it is likely that your hiccups will abate. there’s nothing magic about the word, I don’t think, but the concentration seems to occupy the part of the brain that is dealing with the hiccups.

   this is the only cure that works for me, and it works every time. occasionally I’ve had to repeat the attempt, but only rarely.

5. 5 Kim Nov 15th, 2006 at 4:21 pm

   When a hiccup is coming up, force out a burp at the same time. They nullify each other.

6. 6 Tanooki Joe Nov 15th, 2006 at 5:50 pm

   Me, I just try to hold my breath for the greatest amount of time possible. Breathe in really fast so you don’t have time to hiccup. Then you hold it for long as you can.

   I know, I know. But at least mine’s not sillier than anyone else’s method.

7. 7 Auguste Nov 15th, 2006 at 6:58 pm

   human’s method is gold. btw.

8. 8 Kat Nov 15th, 2006 at 7:31 pm

   A bartender gave me this remedy once and it worked like a charm: Take a wedge of lemon, pour some angostura bitters on it, then bite on it and suck.

9. 9 Lynnster, yeah Nov 15th, 2006 at 8:10 pm

   John’s mentioned sugar method has almost always worked for me.

10. 10 zuzu Nov 15th, 2006 at 10:59 pm

    My 10th grade English teacher recommended this one, and it seems to work (though I don’t know about two days). Take a glass of water and drop a ring or other small object into it.

    Keeping your eyes on the object at all times, drink the water slowly.

    DO NOT SWALLOW THE OBJECT. However, if you keep your eyes on it, you won’t be swallowing it, now will you?

11. 11 Paul Colin Engle Nov 16th, 2006 at 8:20 pm

    I know somebody with problem hiccups who has this stainless steel and brass cup and says it works well for them and is easier than folk rituals? http://www.hic-cups.com Have not tried it myself though…

12. 12 Starfoxy Nov 17th, 2006 at 11:47 am

    I’m fully aware of how nutty this sounds, and I’d probably only use it as a last resort but it is legit. From msnbc:

    Dr. Francis Fesmire said he wasn’t sure whether he was honored or embarrassed when he learned he’d won an Ig Nobel for his paper called — ahem — “Termination of Intractable Hiccups with Digital Rectal Massage.”

    “I’m a serious guy, and something I wrote in 1987 is coming back to haunt me,” said Fesmire, an emergency physician and director of the emergency heart center at Erlanger Medical Center in Chattanooga, Tenn.

    Fesmire, who stresses he is a real doctor who “someday wishes to be truly be remembered for my cardiac research,” tried the technique for the first and last time nearly 20 years ago.

    He knew that the technique could be used to slow a rapid heartbeat by stimulating the vagus nerve. The same nerve, when stimulated, can stop hiccups.

    “I saw this patient who couldn’t stop his hiccups, I tried these other maneuvers, and then I stuck my finger in his bottom,” Fesmire said, emphasizing that it was the treatment of last resort. “Will I ever do it again? No!”

13. 13 KB Raymond Nov 27th, 2006 at 12:54 pm

    Yes, Vagus nerve stimulation is what its all about! The better of all the dubious folk remedies have some effect on the Vagus nerve.The Vagus and Phrenic nerves are the culprits in initiating the hiccup reflex arc. How easily you can stimulate yours is really the question.

    Some people can re-set the nerves through swallowing activities. Others find breathe control experiments or mind trick work for them. Serious hiccup-ers need more help. Actually singultus, the REAL word for these distressing spasms, can be a symptom of several serious diseases/conditions. They are also a common side effect of certain medications and abdominal and heart surgeries. That stinks big-time.

    Luckily a Pennsylvania inventor came up with a real science based cure for singultus this summer. Its a patented little device that instantly stops hiccups by stimulating the Vagus/Phrenic nerves with a micro bio-electric current. The cup uses galvanic action(basic high school chemistry- so no outside current needed) so when you drink from it the spasms stop immediately - every time.

    Broadcasters have been early adopters, including Michael Smerconish the talk radio guy who has talked about the device quite a bit on-air. Its good insurance for anyone who uses their voice fora living - or has trouble getting rid of hiccups reliably. Anyway, its called the Hic-Cup and it has gotten a lot of press. You can only buy it online or by phone now. Its got a full guarantee so you can send it back if you don’t like it - and see a doctor if it actually fails to work - you may have a serious illness/problem. Try http://www.Hic-Cups.com for more info. I love the thing and recommend it to my clients .

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