In the car on our way home tonight, Ethan asked me to read him “Where Did I Come From?” * We’ve had the book for years and I figured he’d ask me about it at some point. I had him clean his bookshelves last night and he must have re-found it.
“Sure,” I said. “Do you know where it is?”
“It’s in your belly,” he said, “but I don’t understand how it gets out. I mean, how did I get out of your stomach?”
“I meant the book.”
“Oh, yeah. I know where it is.”
“We can read it tonight.” I chuckled the rest of the way home. Then I made him go play in his room for a few minutes so I could mentally prepare myself. And here I am.
I’m not nervous, exactly, but I need to feel confident that I’m giving him age-appropriate information while I answer all of his questions. Here goes.
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* For those who haven’t seen this new classic, this book is full of cute, detailed illustrations of anatomy that presents sex in a postive, friendly, and healthy light. It’s suitable for kids up to about age eight, after which I’d recommend something more explicit that also included information on puberty.
Just don’t tell him what my dad told me, “Boys are going to try, you know, so your job is to fend them off.”
Also, dont forget about \”Whats Happening to My Body?\\\” for boys. It has to be good — it\\\’s on the Banned Books list each year!
-A&Z
Shite. Feel free to edit that to make it an actual link!
Done!
My son is 9 and I haven’t gotten this question from him yet, I’ve been trying to figure out if I should just wait until he asks or sit him down and fill him in. Although he hasn’t expressed interest in sexual relationships, his classmates certainly are starting to so its around him, ready or not. He was almost 6 when his brother was born, so he understands (and is somewhat unimpressed by) the pregnancy part of things. Any thoughts? I’m ordering the books just to have on hand, thanks for the recommendations.
That link is all messed up, Anne. Sorry. Something with the damned backslashes.
Try it here: What’s Happening to My Body? for boys and the same for girls.
Kat: tell him now, but don’t just sit down out of the blue. keep your eyes open for a good opportunity and take advantage of it when it comes along.
Lauren: good for you to thinking of this ahead of time and being prepared when he asked.
I got the basic biological information at a very young age - probably younger than 9 - because my mom wanted her children to be educated. I never got the follow up information about why I might want to have sex or how I might feel if I did b/c my parents were Catholic and I just wasn’t supposed to have it until I got married and then it would be magically great. Biology at 9 isn’t enough. You need to keep having these conversations and adding more details as they get older. It won’t get any easier, but it gets more and more necessary.
Oh, please remember the details of how you address it! My mother (or father) never had this discussion with me. Thank goodness I like to read to verify the truth or falsity of the chitter chatter I was hearing amongst friends. For the longest time, I thought a “blow job” was just that - blowing air at someone’s crotch. Ha!
I suppose the latter is a conversation for another day (years off) though, isn’t it?
I could have used that book. When I was about 11, I asked my mom why the nuns didn’t have babies.
My 9 year old brother told me that “Sex is something that men have with Prostitutes…in Mexico!”
And that’s all the info I got until I was 12 or so…..
How old is Ethan? My oldest is 4 and very curious about most everything, but I haven’t been asked about that yet. I don’t know if 4 is too young to bring that sort of thing up, but I kind of wish he’d just ask already so that I can get it over with and at least have the subject out there for when he really wants to know what’s going on.
Just found out yesterday from Amanda that you’re back! So nice to have you linked on my blog again (ummm… it’s under the parenting heading, let me know if you have an issue with that).
I need to get this book and thanks for pointing it out to us. My oldest is 8 and hasn’t started asking “those questions” but we all know it’s just a matter of time. I’d like to do a better job than my parents did - but don’t we all?
I read that at least 25 years ago, so I’m not sure it counts as a *new* classic. But yes, it’s a good one.
Right now I’m looking for a children’s book about anatomy that covers reproductive organs as well as other organs, but isn’t solely about sex.
My parents were obviously nervous, and tried to do the “one big speech” thing instead of seamlessly integrating the information like it’s no big deal. They tried to do the big talk when I was eleven, when they had noticed me showing interest in girls my age. I’m sure it never crossed their mind that they were behind the curve, but by then I had already gotten and given oral.
The one-big-talk will always be either too early or too late, too much information or too little.
That’s a wonderful book; it’s the book our parents taught us from. It’s strangely silent on the role that gin and tonics play in the process, but other than that, primo stuff.